jokes

Discussion in 'Ideas + Feature Requests' started by Nefarious, May 12, 2014.

  1. Hey all. I'm very bored right now and want to here some jokes or stories. So here's one. I didn't make it up either lol.


    I was sitting in my girlfriends house waiting for her to get back from the store.Her sister is sitting next to me. She is very hot! A 10/10! We were just being quite not talking or anything. All of a sudden she scootches closer to me.
     
  2. She says "Let's have sex while my sister is gone real quick!" I started to walk out the door when I seen my sister there and she quickly hugged me. Moral of the story. Always keep your condoms in your car.
     
  3. What I got from that is they are both your sisters.
     
  4. You meanie! 
     
  5. Wuuuuut the hell.

    Your GF went out.
    Your GF's sister was really hit and was there. She wanted to have sex.
    So you ran outside and met your sister.
    Then you had sex with her in your car. With condoms, of course. Don't want to deal with that gene stuff.
     
  6. Do you mean her sister?
     
  7. Also, very horrible you didn't say how it was a test
     
  8. Wow Phoenix. You really didn't understand it did you? Also, it isn't real. Haha
     
  9. So you didn't have sex with your sister?
     
  10. That's sick lol.
     
  11. Well you said you didn't make it up, so from the beginning we are led to believe it's supposed to be real.
     
  12. (We take you now to the Oval Office.)

    George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

    Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

    George: Great. Lay it on me.

    Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

    George: That's what I want to know.

    Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

    George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

    Condi: Yes.

    George: I mean the fellow's name.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The guy in China.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The new leader of China.

    Condi: Hu.

    George: The Chinaman!

    Condi: Hu is leading China.

    George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

    Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

    George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

    Condi: That's the man's name.

    George: That's who's name?

    Condi: Yes.

    George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader
    of China?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

    Condi: That's correct.

    George: Then who is in China?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir is in China?

    Condi: No, sir.

    George: Then who is?

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Yassir?

    Condi: No, sir.

    George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
    China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: No, thanks.

    Condi: You want Kofi?

    George: No.

    Condi: You don't want Kofi.

    George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk.
    And then get me the U.N.

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

    Condi: Kofi?

    George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

    Condi: And call who?

    George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

    Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

    George: Will you stay out of China?!

    Condi: Yes, sir.

    George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
    U.N.

    Condi: Kofi.

    George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

    (Condi picks up the phone.)

    Condi: Rice, here.

    George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we
    should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
     
  13. Not original
     
  14. Yes legendary. As I'm not the one who made the story.
     
  15. Scoop let's hear one of your original jokes.
     
  16. Loved it Narwhal. :lol:
     
  17. Wait, llama.
    I get it now.


    You're a lesbian! Amirite?
     
  18. LOL NARWHAL
     
  19. No Phoenix. You know what I mean