I've read about half of what you have so far. I really like it! I enjoy the whole assassin thing. It could use more clarification when you introduce things but overall good and I'm looking forward to reading more.
Sorry Bremen! I've read this since the beginning but never posted anything. I love it, it's beautifully written. I can tell you care a lot about your characters and the story, and that really shows in your work. Nice plot twist there at the end, I can't wait for more! You have a great plot so far, and I know you can really make this story take off. It's great, keep it up!
Great story so far, a few spelling errors, and a few parts where you repeat yourself, but the plot is fantastic. You've done a great job describing your characters! Can't wait for more.
So I haven't read all of this, but guess who's a lazy turdball! Me. Yeah. Who knew, right. So you've occasionally dropped commas, typo'd. Whatever. I want you to try something. Instead of setting the scene in parantheses at the beginning of a chapter/section, you should try shoving a reader in blind. It forces you to describe and develop much, much more. I've noticed that you're pretty skilled at that, but it's wasted on dumb things. No offense. If you really take a butt ton of time and set your stage ridiculously well, stories become so much better, beautiful, and most importantly, they gain depth. Attention to detail is really cool.
I just started reading it, and Oh. My. God. You're a captivating writer, and I love the way you don't take ages to describe every minute detail. Details are important, but you haven't overdone it. Just a few typos here and there, but **** happens. I think I'm going to finish reading it instead of studying for my bio exam... If I fail, it's all your fault!
^ Ditto. But I LOVED it. I always really like your stories. Keep it up and I look forward to he next one!!!!!