Prologue "We need to hold this hotel till backup comes, Serpent, Tanker, guard the entrance, Firefox, Banger, get the roof, I'll guard the courtyard." Shadow, the leader of the squad, said. "Are you sure?" said Serpent, "the courtyard is the most vulnerable place for a breach" "I'll be fine, just handle yourselves." The squad then left to go into their positions. The squad knew they would get attacked, just not when. About 30 minutes after the squad had been in their positions, Shadow heard a beep, and ducked behind a half wall far from the explosion. He peeked over and saw atleast 20 people in metal suits. He quickly tried shooting at them, but their armor was too thick. Shadow told his squad that they were being attacked by an unknown force and told his squad to get out as they were outnumbered by seemingly immortal soldiers. He would be the distraction for his squad to live. Shadow was somehow still not spotted and peeked over the half war to scan for a weakness. He saw the only weakness was that they replaced the metal at the eyes with glass. Probably bulletproof, but Shadow was a master marksman and could concentrate fire on one single spot. He got his rifle and shot at the eye hole of the leading soldier, carefully shifting his rifle just enough to keep going to the same spot. He took down one, but he was then spotted. One of the soldiers fired his gun and created a shockwave, Shadow ducked behind the wall just before it hit. The power of the wave cracked the wall and would not be able to withstand another hit. Shadow threw a smoke screen and went behind a pole closer to the enemy and pulled out 2 razor sharp knives. He waited for the enemy to get close, then he stepped out, stabbed one of the guys in the neck with pure force through the metal, then threw his other one into the glass of another person's helmet. Before Shadow could do anything else, he felt this incredibly strong force fling him back against the wall, which made him hit the wall really hard, then felt the smack of the back of a gun, which knocked him unconscious. He had been hit by the shockwave gun.
This story has no character description, no setting description and no weapon description. The sentences are choppy and there are typos. This story so far is short and we are not left with much of a story and we are not even hinted at what the plot may be. 1/10
Great. However no background information, for example why are they in there? What's going on? Kind of left it blank. More description. However very interesting you have something going. Just work on it a little more. Also when writing a thread if it is underlined in red. It turns out you spelled something wrong. Just keep up and work harder on it.
Um....what now? Sry I'm a huge war book fan....lost all interest at the first few sentences...... I mean not to be a prick ( yea I do, sometimes) But...this is boring... No character description, not rly any scenery , nor weaponry or tech.....
It's really simple to write something, as easy as a war book..professionally speaking, it's literally the easiest. So much material to use in this mad world XD. Any way. It could should like this. Damn the mission was supposed to be simple... Bang in bang out. Funny how **** plays out in the end. "Get my back, going for the plex!" I yell to my fellow cohorts as they trade fire with the none to friendly towns folk. I race along the parapet dodging rounds as they skim above my head, some ricotohtiing of my helmet as I weave through the roof top. "Sam!" I call over the TCL, I know I'm not suppose to break radio silence but hell. We've already been engaged in hard contact. Our cover is blown might as well try to make it out alive. A buzz of static continues in my ear, as pick up the 14SD-Plex Rocket launcher. With a click of my teeth I silence the outside world with the built in sound dampers, and concentrate. The buzz is still going, as I check my teams Bio-Signals. Besides Damions run injury, everyone's fine. At least that's something in the light. I hail Sam through the TLC, as I fire the Plex wiping out a group of insurgents along with their Tank. I try once more, three times the charm I mutter to myself. "Sam I swear to fuc-" "Boss I hear you loud and clear, we've got baddes, north of us, pounding the hell out of us with artillery." I let out a sigh, and this was suppose to be a simplistic Recon mission, sure as hell wasn't expecting to fight a goddamn tank. "Regroup at RV Delta, for extraction." "Where at D now, sir" I hear Sam chuckle. "Aye where at-" Suddenly I find myself staring at the pavement. And realize I was just hit from behind. I roll over as the assailant points his Weapon at me. Without hesitation my training kicks in, I thumb my hydro blade and plunge it into his throat. Blood pouring onto the visor of my helmet. I push him off to see two more run my direction then fall back suddenly. "Boss, we've got Hostiles overrunning your position, we need to regroup." MIhkail calls over the TLC. I'm already up and running and in moments I'm back with the others, in a burnt out shack, awaiting my demise. "Sir assholes got us overrun, and damn you look increadbly baddass right now, blood suits you." Damion says. Cradling his MK-19 Full Tactical Assault rifle. His chest plate scar'd from the grenade he caught to the chest. "Ok boys listen up. We need to move, now full Unison Tact Retreat." I say as I pick off two insurgents making their way around us. "Making it up as you go along?"Fin says. Laughing as he picks up, Damion prepping him for the run . "Don't you know it, ok we bang out in three." "What happened to five?" "I lost my patience." I say with a grim smile, concealed by my helmet but one shared by those around me.