Here is the thread for any and all feedback on my new story. Feel free to post whether or not you liked it and even if you don't have any feedback just post if you read it! Thanks for your time!
I have not read your previous stories, but I read this prologue and I assume they were decent enough. I have to applaud your sentence structure and your fluency. Your sentences do not sound choppy, which is rare for people in fan fiction. Your sentences vary in length and do not all start with the same word. The names were creative and when I read them, they sounded like real medieval city names (assuming it's in medieval times), though I agree with that one dude, mindmage is a bit dull. The plot looks interesting, I like stories that have lots of suspense and this one looks like it could deliver if you lead it in the right direction. You did not go that much into the detail of the setting or the main character, so I find it harder to connect and be emotionally attached to him. During the scene where he was running, I was imagining a round tower with a circular stairwell and at the bottom is where the middle aged man appeared. The cliffhanger was great, I would've liked it more if I knew more about the main character. So far, I would give it a 9/10. Great job, and if you lead it in the right direction, it will be amazing.
I'm in his story! *FANGIRL squeal* And I am now multiple powerful mages! MUHAHAAHAHAHAHAAH! Hahaha, muha. Muhahaha. Haha, ha. Ha. I'm excited to read more! Prisoners, violence, you and me, corruption, violence, death, fights, awesomeness! This story will be awesome! ._. Must read more now.
Again with the not so many details! Lol Anyways, good chapter. I think most of what I said last time still applies.
Do I get to be in it? Dx Anyways, great job. I love the plot twist near the end! Keep up the good work.