[MGTD] Another Day In The Life Of Joe The Wandering Villager

Discuss anything KaW related that isn't covered above.

Moderator: Kingdoms at War

[MGTD] Another Day In The Life Of Joe The Wandering Villager

Postby d-_-b_STu-_-PiDDaSSo_d-_-b on Apr 20 2018, 7:19pm

First of all, before you read this, click the link below and read the original story, “A Day In The Life of a Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!”, by Chad. It’s in the ‘Best of’ section in the forums.

Since this is a continuation of that story, you’ll need to read the original in order to get the references I use in this story.

viewtopic.php?f=13&t=18972

It is one of my favorite threads from back in the day and I am honoring it with my own version for MGTD.

P.S. if you don’t know what a Wandering Villager is, go ask a KAW vet, they can explain it to you.


———


It’s been seven years since the last steal attempt. The BAMF DARK ASSASSINS have been training for years now, with increased numbers and advanced techniques.

Waiting for this day...

The reason it has taken so long is because everything has to be just right, they know Joe is a very dangerous man.

Plus, he has worked so many different jobs at ridiculously odd hours, making him nearly impossible to track.

Jobs like:
- security guard for a 24hr IHOP
- professional cuddler
- water slide tester
- fortune cookie writer
- dog food tester
- human scarecrow
Just to name a few.

But now is the time, all those years of surveillance have brought them to this day...

———

Joe was just chillin’ in his barcalounger watching reruns of his favorite soap opera, “Days of Our Lives”. He does this every night before bed.

Joe finally decided to call it a night, grabs his Cheetos, brushes the dust off his 5th grade diploma sitting on the mantle, and makes his way to the bedroom.

Mom has upgraded their living conditions since the last attack. They now live in a double wide down by the river.

Joe is annoyed by the extra distance he needs to travel to get to the back bedroom. But loves that he now has his OWN bedroom and no longer has to sleep with his mom.

———

The BAMF DARK ASSASSINS move in. Millions of them (makes sense, right?). They surround the trailer and follow him to the bedroom. Now is the time to finally steal from Joe without him knowing.

They wait quietly in the shadows for Joe to lay his head on the pillow and fall asleep.


But Joe, unknowingly, has set a trap...


The Assassins make their move...

And...

CRUNCH!!!

One of them steps on a crunchy little cheese powdered puff...

Joe lifts his head off the pillow...

The BAMF DARK ASSASSINS were so terrified, that tens of thousands of them killed themselves for no apparent reason. The others are left stunned and baffled.

How can this be? These are millions of exceptionally trained spies and he is just one man, one very capable, very deadly man.

The rest of the spies retreat with their tails between their legs, discouraged and defeated.

But before they go, again they leave a note, “Yo Joe, this is (insert specific kingdoms name)’s BAMF DARK ASSASSINS. Just wanted to let you know, we tried to steal from you again. Hit us up next time you’re around, here’s our address, (insert specific kingdoms name).”

Sincerely, (insert specific kingdoms name)’s BAMF DARK ASSASSINS


Just goes to show you, it doesn’t matter how many spies you have or how well they are trained... they are no match for ‘Joe the Wandering Villager.’

———


Thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoyed.
Last edited by d-_-b_STu-_-PiDDaSSo_d-_-b on Apr 22 2018, 5:41am, edited 1 time in total.
d-_-b_STu-_-PiDDaSSo_d-_-b
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Jan 24 2012, 1:43pm


Re: [MGTD] Another Day In The Life Of Joe The Wandering Villager

Postby WaR_SINlllIiIllIIIillXXX_LoR on Apr 22 2018, 4:28am

I wouldn’t read your story if it paid me $10,000 to click on it
WaR_SINlllIiIllIIIillXXX_LoR
 
Posts: 92
Joined: Oct 10 2017, 10:58am

Re: [MGTD] Another Day In The Life Of Joe The Wandering Villager

Postby d-_-b_STu-_-PiDDaSSo_d-_-b on Apr 22 2018, 4:36am

How about $20,000?
d-_-b_STu-_-PiDDaSSo_d-_-b
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Jan 24 2012, 1:43pm

Re: [MGTD] Another Day In The Life Of Joe The Wandering Villager

Postby xXD3mOnXx on Apr 22 2018, 5:34am

The "wondering" villager..
xXD3mOnXx
 
Posts: 587
Joined: May 26 2015, 10:48am

Re: [MGTD] Another Day In The Life Of Joe The Wandering Villager

Postby d-_-b_STu-_-PiDDaSSo_d-_-b on Apr 22 2018, 6:05am

Nice catch, corrected the typos ️
d-_-b_STu-_-PiDDaSSo_d-_-b
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Jan 24 2012, 1:43pm

Re: [MGTD] Another Day In The Life Of Joe The Wandering Villager

Postby IlISIIIPllIlUIIlIDllll on Apr 23 2018, 11:19am

Congrats on 1st place :D
User avatar
IlISIIIPllIlUIIlIDllll
Moderator
 
Posts: 146
Joined: Feb 10 2013, 5:10am

Re: [MGTD] Another Day In The Life Of Joe The Wandering Villager

Postby d-_-b_STu-_-PiDDaSSo_d-_-b on Apr 23 2018, 1:45pm

Thanks 
d-_-b_STu-_-PiDDaSSo_d-_-b
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Jan 24 2012, 1:43pm


Return to Other KaW Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests