True Spartans - Recruitment Thread

Discussion in 'Clans and Alliances' started by The_Merovingian, Jul 24, 2012.

  1. True Spartans

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    History

    The True Spartans are a war clan. We are happiest when we are spear deep in our opponents newly created digital orifice! Our clan emerged from the dilluted mind of our drunken admins, after an evening of binge drinking. While watching the film "300", they took note of how the present company they held resembled the True Spartans in the manner which we are happiest when surrounded by gleaming muscular men! Also noted, was our evident parallel in their determination and dedication to the war effort, right down to our last soldier (pictured above). So after a day or two at the gym to try to carve the abs of Leonidas, we submitted our lifestyle of playing mobile app video games and unhealthy choices at after-hours fast-food restaurant chains and accepted our only semblance of this Greek king of Old: Our ability to plan effective strategies, execute them and dismantle our opponent.

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    The Spartan Code

    The True Spartans are PROUD members of the ✯☠ŦṨ/KøTҒE/CƦ/ШøḠ☠✯ Family. We protect our family clans ferociously, with precision and resolve. We don't have to say test this, because it has, and we've shown it. Joining us is joining them!

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    Requirements to Join

    We believe in rules and Spartan Law. Therefore, in order for anyone to be considered as a permanent addition to the TS family, they must abide by some of our age-old rules.

    1. 1) No pants are to be worn on Tuesdays.
      2) Never tell a woman she's fat unless she's REALLY fat.
      3) This is a war clan, we are NOT epic battle monkeys, you MUST share our drive for war. All applicants must arrive with potions, some war savvy (or a willingness to learn) and a severe addiction to this game.
      4) If you require a pet baby sitter, NEVER leave them with Asjay-TS
      5) Anyone caught playing tummy sticks with anyone other than Kimmie-TS will be kicked and farmed.
      6) Although you can't call our CC "Mature" it is certainely 18+.
      7) We require only the most intelligent KaW players, they must have a minimum IQ of 20/20.
      8) If Ken-TS asks you to "assume the position" this means he wants you to do hours upon hours of belly dancing for him. (don't worry, it's not that bad after the first couple times)
      9) Re-read 3, 4, 6 and 10 as they are the only real requirements.
      10) Minimum of 6 Mil combined stats (or 500k CS for our Hellen Keller Dance Squad Sub-Clan at True Spartans Academy)

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    Why Join?

    If you have been considering joining a large war-going clan then this is your opportunity to get in. If you are a PVP oriented individual and an enthusiast of the finer things in life (after hour massage therapy, binge drinking on Wednesday Nights, suprise sword fights with strangers in the street or even the thought of street meat sausage causes you to salivate) then this is a good fit for you.

    Here at TS we take this game as seriously as any other big war clan. We just have more fun doing it.

    If you are interested in applying - dont wall me, I'm not an admin and I will likely farm you. Instead, wall Asjay-TS for more information and an interview to join!
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    Weezus
     
  2. You know the green rangers name was Tommy ;)
     
  3. Lol love the little guy at the top  reminds me of asjay's midget lover.
     
  4. Great clan and nice thread Weez!
     
  5. I'm a Spartan..

    And I stub my toes for pleasure .
     
  6. You had me at "gleaming muscular men."

    10 out of 10

    This thread is so full of win, I am overlooking the one BBCode fail. Excellent job!
     
  7. This was hilarious!!!
     
  8. Support
    CR/KotFE/TS/WoG
     
  9. @ Cheese - Where's the fail so I can fix it? I have a dollop of foreign matter in my eyes... we just finished TT and MrCulyer69-TS got excited. I can barely see...
     
  10. Weezus. Nice job on the quick fix. ;)

    It was perfect anyway.

    I'm surprised you guys didn't include detailed war history. That would have been fun to read.
     
  11. Winning is winning. Support

    KotFE/CR/TS/WoG
     
  12. We are all so old and beat up, no one can remember the history! Great job weez my sexy ring doughnut!
     
  13. I remember this 1 time at band camp  we had a war!! With this hairy monkey  it was fingering a goat   and we called him asjay n recruited him  well done weezus awesome thread !
     
  14. The monkey approves of this thread 
     
  15. Well done weez. Love ya! 
     
  16. well the most recent was the eclipse of the sun alliance, TS,CR,WOG,KOTFE and allies broke em like asjays pet goats dirt box
     
  17. :lol: I think that's a bit of recent history that will not soon be forgotten.
     
  18. We gonna be legendary now we been approved by monkeys! Can I have one to play with?