The great snail race

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The great snail race

Postby Lonesong on Apr 30 2018, 1:24pm

Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first annual KaW snail race!

(audience cheers)


I am your host, Lonesong, and I will be commentating on today’s extraordinary race! First, lets take a look at our contenders.


Alright taking a look at snail number 1 we can see just how fast paced this race will be! Snail number 1 has what looks like a... rocket! Oh my god, yes, snail 1 has a rocket attached to its shell... okaaay, lets move on.


Taking a look at snail number 2... holy crap that snail is jacked. Sorry, hold on one second.

(headset being taken off in background) “are there no regulations for this?” oh christ.


Alright, ahem. Yes, snail number 2 is on steroids, and no, theres nothing we can do it about it. Lets just move on.


Now lets see whats wrong with snail number 3... oh. Snail number 3 is completely normal. Well thank god.

3



2



1



Start!



And they’re off! Ladies and gentlemen, the gates have been raised and the snails are off!

Oh my goodness gracious they are off to roaring start! Its neck and neck here at the Kingdoms at War Grand prix! And.. SWEET BABY JESUS! It appears snail 1 had activated the rocket attached to its shell and is zooming down the track!



SNAIL 1 IS ALMOST AT THE FINISH ALREADY?!?! IS THIS EVEN FAIR?

And look at snail 2!



He’s racing down the track, you can really see those mollusk muscles working! And snail 3 is... well...



Hes moving at a... snails pace!

(other staff in room groan)




OH CHRIST SNAIL 1 HAS ERUPTED INTO FLAMES! JESUS THAT IS GRUESOME! HIS ROCKET EXPLODED AND HE IS NOW ON FIRE, I BELIEVE SNAIL 1 IS OUT OF THE RACE!

And look at snail 2 go! Its looking like he might be the winner here, with snail 3 still moving at a...

alright, alright, i won’t! stop hitting me!




Oh! It appears snail 2 has collapsed! Hes probably having a heart attack from the steroids! Ladies and gentlemen, this is why... oh. Hes just sleeping. Right.. guess snails get tired too?

Anyhow, snail 3 has taken the lead, despite a massive disadvantage and a huge gap at the start of the race! You can do it little buddy!



He’s done it! Snail 3 has won the race! It seemed impossible, but truly he has done it! Way to go snail 3!

Thank you for tuning in! Please be sure to watch our other programs, and as always, happy KaWing!
Lonesong
 
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Re: The great snail race

Postby Psyacidal_Cow on Apr 30 2018, 3:01pm

This was actually pretty good read. Thanks for the chuckle.. keep up the quality threads
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Re: The great snail race

Postby -X-roni-X- on Apr 30 2018, 4:09pm

Very cute story,the snail in the middle of the moving cars gif got me smiling.:-)
-X-roni-X-
 
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Re: The great snail race

Postby Lonesong on Apr 30 2018, 6:51pm

thanks. the original idea was to use emojis to create the visual of the race, but i figured out i cant post emojis to forums so i had to improvise.
Lonesong
 
Posts: 656
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Re: The great snail race

Postby _RoG_RebelTenaciousDragon_RoG_ on Apr 30 2018, 7:58pm

you had me at (audience cheers) lmfao

well done. funniest thread i’ve seen in years.
_RoG_RebelTenaciousDragon_RoG_
 
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Re: The great snail race

Postby __MoGi_of_WoG__ on Apr 30 2018, 8:25pm

Gary would never lose
__MoGi_of_WoG__
 
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