A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

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A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

Postby xXP_3Xx_CHAD_xXP_3Xx on Aug 6 2010, 8:00pm

The following is an excerpt from my new book titled:

"God Dammit, Where The Hell Did You Come From!!!??!!!: A Biography of Wandering Villager Joe"

The Cunning Speed and Lightning Swift Maneuvers of the Assassin, make him impossible to spot. Years of FREAKING  EXPENSIVE Training in the Dark Guilds of Harvard, have turned these once, USELESS SCOUTS, into Full fledge BAMF ASSASSINS. 

They posses godly abilities, that SHOULD make any Human, cower in fear. But unfortunately, these UBER EPIC BEASTS are at the mercy of.......

Joe.

Joe, is a man. Just a normal, everyday, 9am-5pm slave to society. He has no real skills. Although, he is a Professional Jack Ass, and Is the only person to be fired from 6 jobs at the same time, all within 20mins of being hired, on Christmas.

Joe, sucks massive PeePee. (keeping it PG)


You would think after failing the 3rd Grade 18 times, he might start to do something productive in his life.

Joe did more than that. Joe took on 117,000 BAMF DARK ASSASSINS, and he didn't even know it.

Joe was watching, "Days of our Lives" (his favorite soap opera) unaware to the fact that 117,000 BAMF DARK ASSASSINS were waiting in the shadows. 

Joe went through 3 boxes of tissues that episode, and as he reached for the Next box, he heard a loud obnoxious *Sniffle*.

Oh NO! One Of the BAMF DARK ASSASSINS was emotionally attached to Day time t.v. And couldn't help but start crying when he saw Steve kill Mark, for sleeping with his Lady Friend Jessica.

They were doomed!!! The 117,000 BAMF DARK ASSASSINS were so terrified that an estimated 11,000 killed themselves for no apparent reason and the other remaining 106,000 left Joe a letter on his toliet seat, knowing he would have to move it to go.

11,000 Dead Spies, lay astrewn throughout his mother's Tiny 500sq.ft. Apartment. 

Joe will surely notice them!

But, joe lacks the ability to "Think" so when he made his next trip to the bathroom, he didn't pay any attention to the dead bodies that now covered the ground.

The Letter! He will surely see this! 


Again, Joe failed the 3rd grade 18 times, and had to cheat his way through kindergarten-2nd grade. 

He can't read.

He lifted the seat and the letter fell to the ground. It read:

"yo Joe, this is (insert specific kingdom name)'s BAMF DARK ASSASSINS. just wanted to let ya know we tried to steal from you. Here is our address. Stay in touch."

---Yours Truly (Insert Specific Kingdom Name)'s BAMF DARK ASSASSINS


Obviously this must be EXACTLY what happens when one of these F'ers catch you. It Makes Total Sense Right?
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Re: A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

Postby Tidalwave-TS on Aug 6 2010, 8:03pm

:lol:
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Re: A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

Postby FoxyGor on Aug 6 2010, 8:08pm

Humm
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Re: A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

Postby eddzie on Aug 6 2010, 8:09pm

This is so funny I cryed
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Re: A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

Postby Lady-Nightstars on Aug 6 2010, 8:10pm

LOL. Haha nice chad
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Re: A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

Postby chazzs123 on Aug 6 2010, 8:11pm

haha this made me laugh, good story chad!
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Re: A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

Postby EllyMae on Aug 6 2010, 8:18pm

When does this book come out and where can I buy it?
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Re: A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

Postby Rektbaka on Aug 6 2010, 8:20pm

My guys name is jeff u should meet him sometime
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Re: A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

Postby ElderDragon on Aug 6 2010, 8:20pm

Very good story =D
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Re: A Day In The Life Of The Wandering Villager: A TRUE STORY!!!

Postby Gargalesis on Aug 6 2010, 8:27pm

Might as well be Chad not Joe 
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