Killer Inside

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Re: Killer Inside

Postby LemonWithAHintOfAssClown on Jun 14 2013, 5:23am

yea. posting the prologue tomorrow would make me happy :D
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Re: Killer Inside

Postby Lil_Tiger on Jun 14 2013, 7:33am

Tris will return, and Chris goes to him for help on a few occasion.
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Re: Killer Inside

Postby FlamingTomato on Jun 15 2013, 1:35pm

I've only read through chapter 5 so far but this is really good. You used a lot of detail and the chapters are really long. A few comments/ critiques, near the beginning the news reports it is most likely it is a young female killer, this would never happen in RL. Not only is it difficult to profile a killer after only one murder but also so quickly after, but the police would not share this information. What the press would emphasize is the ONE carved in the wall. Also about throwing the knives, not realistic, plunging the knife into Jade's heart would have been much better. Another thing that would have made this more believable would be if it were a small liberal arts college not a middle school. Also you said you were having difficulties putting human aspects into KC because she didn't show any emotion to the kill. This is a classic psychopath. She doesn't feel emotion at all, she merely mimics it. Because of this it would be more believeable if she was in her early 20's killing other college students. Final point. You keep bringing up military fathers making me feel as though this is commonplace for you, however I've never met such a collection of military fathers in a small New Englandy type school.
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Re: Killer Inside

Postby FlamingTomato on Jun 15 2013, 1:35pm

Sorry for the long post.
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Re: Killer Inside

Postby Lil_Tiger on Jun 15 2013, 4:11pm

No no, it's good. Give me a moment
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Re: Killer Inside

Postby FlamingTomato on Jun 15 2013, 5:01pm

Ok after finishing it its a great story, a few things here or there that were a little off but still an amazing read. I'd give this 10/10 definitely the best I've read on FF, and I read stuff here back when FF was popular 3 years ago.
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Re: Killer Inside

Postby Smighter89 on Jun 20 2013, 5:12pm

Definitely one of the best threads/reads on FF. A few mispellings/missed punctuation here and there, but nothing a read over or two would fix.

9.9/10 or 10/10. I can't decide
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Re: Killer Inside

Postby Amberclaw2000 on Jul 21 2013, 12:20pm

^ then go with 9.99999/10 :)
Definitely deserves it
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Re: Killer Inside

Postby Black7White on Jul 24 2013, 6:38pm

Ahh, a masterpiece! ;)
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Re: Killer Inside

Postby Alkais on Nov 21 2016, 8:19pm

I still remember this story after all these years. And I still love it. I'm leaving my mark here.

-Cap'n Jack
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